I was going to post my pro-Oxford comma diatribe here, but instead I decided to just throw a few things out that I’ve been thinking about lately.

I love my book club, but I need to find a club that will read anything. And by anything I mean post-apocalyptic flesh eating zombies without southern accents… or something like that.

Teenagers are NEVER happy. Just FYI. If they’re happy, they’re planning something.

In Michigan, if you can’t say vagina, what do you call it? I am not going with vajayjay, hoo hoo, peach, secret garden, or any of the many choices afforded by an ill advised Urban Dictionary search.

Why don’t I have minions? I could totally use some and I’d be a great Evil Genius.

If it’s new and tech and obsolete within 24 hours, I want it.

Where are you, client who wants to pay me to talk about stuff like this?

Free books are usually free for a reason.

Fifty Shades of Grey is softcore porn. Get over it. The writing is bad and the story, between sex scenes in which the woman is always willing and never burdened with not being in the mood, is basically a Lifetime movie.

I want to learn coding. I know nothing about it. I know a very little bit of HTML, just enough to break stuff.

When you know what you’re talking about, why do people persist in doing things another way? Is it just karma so you can say, “I told you to do it my way”?

I once stood on a table between two 6 foot tall schizophrenics and told them to shut up. I used an expletive, but I’m being polite. Oh, and they shut up.

Boys are stupid. Evidence: I came home today to find one of my sons covered in mud for no apparent reason. And when I say “covered”, I mean purposely covered in it. And he’s fifteen.

If you have any answers, let me know.